The Story Begins

It all started out innocently enough-- Overshare was a new hire from out of state, so we (her coworkers) asked her some questions about her personal life... where she was living, etc. Normal stuff. And then, she started volunteering information and even striking up personal conversations in the middle of work discussions.

Witty Comeback and I quickly realized the situation was rapidly deteriorating. Conversations were soon started even in the busiest of busy times, and had started to be solely about Overshare's dating life, which she was very excited about since she had just ended a long relationship and was enjoying a lot of casual dating. And then, it happened. The very first Overshare.

One Thursday morning, I was standing by Witty Comeback's desk, discussing a work-related project when Overshare, who sits very near Witty and in plain sight, gave a very loud groan. She obviously wasn't feeling well. I made the mistake of asking what was wrong, and she proceeded to tell me the story:

Wednesday evening she and her new roommates went out to "Happy Hour" and got rip-roaringly drunk. She met a "cute fireman" and they flirted all night, and he just kept buying her drinks. And more drinks. At around 1am, Overshare decided it was time to call it a night, and went home with Cute Fireman. They got up to his apartment, stumbling and laughing all the way, and had a hot and heavy make out session before she needed to use the bathroom. Once there, she projectile vomited all over poor Cute Fireman's bathroom. "Everywhere but in the toilet," she said. Mortified, obviously, she frantically searched for something to clean up with. Not wanting to use one of Cute Fireman's towels (for reasons clear only to a drunk person), she decides the best course of action is to use her sock. Still embarrassed, she left the bathroom, made a lame excuse and high-tailed it out of there. Leaving Cute Fireman with a very nasty bathroom, I'm sure.

To add to her troubles, in her haste she had neglected to take her coat with her, and as it was winter time, she needed her coat back. She then badgered Witty Comeback for advice all day. "Do I call? What do I say? Do I apologize for the bathroom?"

Witty Comeback: "If you want your jacket back, you do."

Little did we know, this was just the beginning.