Because Why Should They Stop at Bail?

Overshare: Well, I FINALLY decided what to buy CTF for his birthday. After MUCH debate.

Might I suggest this? It does combine two odditites into one!

Oh no. A small, quirky gift recalling a private joke? That's simply too mundane for Overshare to give her non-boyfriend bouncer sex partner/best friend!! (Who, I'd like to remind everyone, once gave her a used pair of men's rollerskates.)

Overshare: Yeah, I decided to give him a cell phone.
Anonymous: A CELL PHONE??!
Overshare: Yeah... he hasn't had one in years because he never used to pay the bill and it got shut off. And it's just SO HARD to reach him sometimes! So I figured a cell phone would take care of that!
Anonymous: What makes you think he'll pay the bill now?
Overshare: Oh, well... I'm just going to add him to my plan so I don't have to worry about it.
Anonymous: So you're going to be paying for his service too? That's quite a birthday gift.
Overshare: That's the best part! Technically, my parents pay for my service-- they gave me a phone for Christmas and said they'd pay for the service for two years. So I'm just adding him to that!