That's the Sound of the Man...

The day after one of Overshare's Self-Appointed-Social-Secretary Work Happy Hours, she came into my office wearing huge sunglasses, and what I'm pretty sure were the same pants she was wearing the day before.

Overshare: Oh my GAWD, Anonymous! Did you see the DRAH-MA last night?

Anonymous: Well, I was only there for about a half hour... why? What happened?

Overshare, singing: Draaaaaaaah-maaaaaaaa!

Anonymous: Ah.

Overshare: Toolshed's Wife is so freaking dumb.

Anonymous: Really?

Overshare: Yeah! I tried so hard, SO HARD, to be nice to her, Anonymous. I followed her and Toolshed all over the freaking bar, trying to talk to her, and she wouldn't even acknowledge my existence! I mean, sheez! What does a girl have to do to get noticed around here?

What does one have to do, indeed.

Anonymous: Well, you are rather hard to ignore, I'll give you that.

Overshare: Exactly! So she was totally doing it on purpose!

Anonymous: [silence]

Overshare: I'm going over to Toolshed's office right now to tell him that he needs to teach his dog, oops, I mean his wife, some manners.

Have I ever mentioned that Overshare is nothing if not classy?

Overshare: I mean, come on!! I'm like the world's least intimidating person ever! I'm SO easy to talk to!

Anonymous: Ok.

Overshare: And anyway, it's not like I'm there in the corner, banging away with her husband or anything.

Anonymous: No, it's not.

Overshare, pantomiming sex: Uhhh. Uhh. Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!! Ooooh, Toolshed!

Anonymous: Please don't.

Overshare, stopping mid-act: What?

Anonymous: That. Please don't.

Overshare: Whatever. That's what I'm saying-- it's not like I'm jumping her husband in a dark corner or anything. I mean, it's a no brainer, really. Toolshed or CTF? As if that's even a contest. I mean, who would you choose, for goodness' sake?

Oh, Dear Lord, three things I pray: To see thee more clearly... to love thee more dearly... and to never, ever have to choose between Toolshed and CTF. For any reason. Ever. It's like choosing to either get VD on purpose or to stab out one's own eye from boredom.