Office Wars

Smoking Know It All has a favorite person to gossip at (not to, but at) and that person just so happens to be in an office that is next-door to my office. From now on, I shall call them Smoking Know It All's Victim; Victim for short. And our mutual wall? It's very thin. As in, I routinely have to listen to music in order to drown them out when they're on the phone. Very thin.

And we all know that Overshare's favorite person to overshare to is me.

One day, in the midst of the TSS Promotion Drama, these two unfortunate facts of life collided.

I was in my office, trying to focus on a rather urgent piece of business when I heard Smoking Know It All enter Victim's office. Did I mention in my previous post that Smoking Know It All has a very--how shall we say?-- distinctive voice? Imagine a voice is like a mixed drink... Smoking Know It All's is one shot gravel, one shot Fran Drescher in The Nanny, and a splash of gin.

Smoking Know It All: Hello, Victim.
Victim: Hello, Smoking.
Smoking Know It All: So, did you hear?

It is at this point that Overshare walked into my office.

Overshare: Hey, Anonymous.
Anonymous Coworker: Hey, Overshare.
Overshare: Did you hear?
Anonymous: Hear what?
Overshare, speaking loud enough for Smoking Know It All to hear: Smoking Know It All applied for MY JOB!

Victim, trying to act like he didn't just hear what Overshare said: Hear what, Smoking?
Smoking Know It All: I applied for TSS's JOB!

Anonymous, whispering: Wait, did she apply for your job, or TSS's job?
Overshare: My job IS TSS's JOB! I'm getting THAT PROMOTION!
Anonymous: Err...

Smoking Know It All: There's no way in hell I'm not getting it. With all the things I know...
Victim: Mmmmhmmm....
Smoking Know It All: They'd be crazy not to give it to me. To buy my silence at the VERY LEAST.

Overshare, whispering now: You don't really think they'll give it to her, do you?
Anonymous: [shrugs shoulders.]
Overshare, loudly again: We'll see about that!

Overshare turned and left my office. Smoking Know It All left Victim's office and stuck her head in mine. Creepily, she didn't say anything, just smiled, then left to go back to her section of the office.

Just another day in the Land of the Crazy.