Just A Spoonful of Sugar...
I’m known as somewhat of a Mary Poppins in my office… I carry a huge purse, and there’s a good chance that if you need something random, something that no one ever carries around with them, ever, I just may have it in there. And if it’s not in my purse, I have a very useful collection of things in my desk drawers. Nail polish remover? Check. Duct Tape? Check. Film? Check; would you prefer black and white or color? Static-cling remover? Yep. You get the picture.
So, you’ll have to forgive me that I was completely blind-sided by the forthcoming Overshare interaction.
Overshare: Anonymous, do you have AA batteries?
Anonymous: I should… let me check. [Rummages through Magic Purse, Magic Drawers] Hmmm. That’s odd, usually I do. Sorry! I’ll have to replace my stash!
Overshare: Damn.
Anonymous: Sorry.
Overshare: Oh, it’s all right. I just really wish you had some.
Anonymous: Yeah, usually I do, you know…
Overshare: Yeah. Wyoming and I are going to a tattoo parlor tonight.
Anonymous: Oh.
Overshare: Yeah, so I really want to take pictures and my camera's batteries just died.
Anonymous: Pictures of your tattoo?
Overshare: Oh, I’m not getting a tattoo.
Anonymous: Of Wyoming’s tattoo, then.
Overshare, staring at me in confusion: She’s not getting a tattoo either.
Anonymous: But you said you were going to a tattoo parlor…
Overshare: Well, yeah, but I’m getting pierced!
Anonymous: Oh.
Overshare: Yeah. Guess where!
Anonymous, hopefully: Eyebrow?
Overshare: Nope!
Anonymous, rapidly losing hope: Nose?
Overshare: Nope! Guess again!
Anonymous, descending into despair: Belly button?
Overshare: Closer—it’s definitely below my waist!
I think we should take a minute to let out a collective scream.
Finished? Me too. For the record, mine sounded something like "AHHHHHHHH!!!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!"
Here are my questions (feel free to respond with your own):
1.) Why exactly does she need a camera?
2.) Who exactly is documenting this event?
3.) Who does she plan on showing these pictures to? (For the love of all that’s holy, if those pictures make their way into my office, I’m resigning.)
4.) It’s not a question, but poor, poor Piercing Man.
posted by Anonymous Coworker @ 12:59 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Did she really go through with it?
I can't wait for the next installment of this saga!
Better she show you pictures than show you the real thing!
Oh no. Ohhhh nooooo. *gag*
And, just who do you think she will get to develop these porn pictures?
According to my nurse practitioner friend who works at a PP clinic, tatoos & piercings are very common "down there". I've yet to meet anyone, including my NP friend, who is not completely horrified at the thought of this event.
Your list of questions is spot on. Can't think of another to add.
Christmas cards, perhaps?
BTW, "she" who wrote the last entry is me as well...
Hey, how about binding up all of the collected stories thus far and publishing a book?
You could even self-publish through Lulu.
I'd buy it. :)
I just got really dizzy. Like when you watch a cute dog get hit by a car.
Post a Comment
<< Home