Help! My Swedish Nanny Looked At Me Funny!

Overshare, standing in my doorway: Hee hee hee.
Anonymous: [Attempts to ignore. Yet again.]
Overshare: Hee Hee Hee.
Anonymous: [Silence.]
Overshare: [clears throat.] HEE HEE HEE.
Anonymous: Yes?
Overshare: Hee hee hee.
Anonymous: I’m really busy.
Overshare, sitting down: Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just giddy.
Anonymous: And why are you giddy?
Overshare: Oh, because CTF is coming to lunch today.
Anonymous: And this makes you giddy because…
Overshare: Oh, well, because he’s just doing it to get away from Swedish Nanny.
Anonymous: Things aren’t going too well?
Overshare, with no small amount of glee: She’s smothering him!
Anonymous: Incredible.
Overshare: I know!! You’d think she’d know by now that the way to get a man is to let him have his space.

Okay, I’ve been single for a while now so maybe I’m just not up-to-date on these new techniques, but really? Are we in high school? “The way to get a man?”

Anonymous: And what exactly constitutes “smothering?”
Overshare: Oh, you know. She’s always at his house.
Anonymous: She lives there.
Overshare: I know!
Anonymous: So, of course she’s always there. She’s unemployed.
Overshare: Yep! And it’s the best thing that ever happened to me, because CTF can’t wait for her to get deported! He even said he was considering reporting her to INS himself!
Anonymous: Is she doing anything illegal? Her visa isn't expired.
Overshare: Oh, well, CTF said he would just make something up.