There I Go, There I Go...

I am 100%, fully, completely, utterly aware that the story that follows is my own damn fault. All that I ask is that you please not judge me for what love drove me to do.

Overshare: I have a surprise for you!
Anonymous: What’s that?
Overshare: Guess who your new best friend is?
Anonymous: I have a new best friend?
Overshare: You will once you hear what I did!
Anonymous: Okaaayyyy….
Overshare: I BOUGHT US TWO TICKETS TO THE AMERICAN IDOL TOUR!!!

It is at this moment that I think I felt the full spectrum of human emotion at once: elation, dread, joy, woe, affection, confusion, guilt, helplessness, anxiety, and delight.

Because, seriously. My coworker bought me a ticket to go see Elliot Yamin. How nice is that, in any situation? But that coworker is Overshare, and she distinctly said two tickets.

And I will admit to you all that I never, not once, considered not going. Come hell or high water, I was going to this concert. Only Death himself would be able to stop me, and even then he would have to pry the ticket out of my cold hand. This is Elliot Yamin, people.

Vote like YAMIN it!

Anyway.

Anonymous: SHUT. UP.
Overshare: Yeah. You can write me the check for $60 whenever you get a chance.

Odd that she chose to spend my money without asking, but whatever—I had a ticket to see Elliot! (Okay, okay, and Chris Daughtrey and Taylor Hicks. Ace Young too, but only for his looks because his falsetto makes me want to stab myself in the eye.) And they were great seats. GREAT seats.

As the day got closer, I began to realize that this was going to cost me a bit more than $60. Like, say, $60 and my sanity. Soon, she started asking me where I wanted to eat beforehand. Then if I wanted to take a half-day off of work to “pre-game” at a bar. (Who pre-games an American Idol concert? I mean, come on. I’m a fan, yes… but they’re no U2 or Coldplay. Or Bon Jovi even, for goodness’ sake.) Then she wanted to take a full day and stalk the venue to see if we could snag a picture with Elliot.

One day, the week of the concert, Overshare came into my office.

Overshare: I’m so excited!
Anonymous: I am too.
Overshare: I’m on a mission.
Anonymous: Really?
Overshare: Yep. I’m taking Elliot home with me for some good old fashioned groupie sex.
Anonymous, flabbergasted: uhhh… I like Elliot too, but...
Overshare, looking slightly disappointed: Oh well… I guess we can have a threesome.

Ok, SO not what I meant.

Not even CLOSE to what I meant.

Anonymous: uh…er…well... uh… [blushes the Blush To End All Blushes]
Overshare: I was just kidding! We probably won’t have time anyway.
Anonymous: I have a lot of work to do.

The night of the concert finally arrived, and I met Overshare at the door. We walked around beforehand, surrounded by tweenagers and grandmas. Overshare kept pushing me to buy an Elliot poster for my office.

(Should I be ashamed to say that I was actually having a good time? In my defense, oversharing was at an all-time low.)

And then, the concert started. It was awesome. Until, about halfway through Bucky’s set, when Overshare put her arm around my chair.

Awkward.

I tried not to freak out, because seriously, it’s just an arm on the back of my chair. But, and my friends will all attest to this, Anonymous and crowds don’t really mix. Anonymous and random touching REALLY don’t mix. So Anonymous + random touching by Overshare in a crowd? Oh, hell no. Especially after the threesome comment. Then, she started talking to me, which if you’ve ever been to a concert you know actually means leaning into the other person and yelling directly into their ear.

And her comments? Usually went something like:

Overshare: I'm sorry I have my arm around your chair-- I just need the space.

Or something like:

Overshare: Everyone probably thinks we're totally that lesbian couple.

So I basically spent the rest of the night squirming in my seat, standing when I could and trying to resist the urge to flee while making sure not to do anything to encourage more talking, AKA touching-leaning-yelling.

But when Elliot came on, finally, all was forgotten. Overshare and I screamed like 10 year olds. And I enjoyed myself.

The next day, Overshare stopped by my office.

Overshare: That was fun.
Anonymous: Yeah, it was. Thanks for getting the tickets.
Overshare: No problem. Sorry I didn’t get Elliot to join us for some fun.
Anonymous: Uh… no problem?

If you ever see a competition for who has had to endure the most in order to see Elliot in concert, be sure to nominate me.