Excuse #37: My Ferret Died.

So, TSS resigned and now Overshare was gunning for her job. Did I mention that TSS gave four weeks notice?

Now, I know that your initial reaction is going to be "Well, that's really above and beyond... no one gives four weeks notice. TSS clearly could not be as bad as Anonymous Coworker is making her out to be." That's a normal reaction.

Until you realize that TSS had two and a half weeks of sick time stored up.

My company, like most, adds the monetary equivalent of your unused vacation time onto your last paycheck. They do not, however, do the same with sick time. You just, effectively, lose it. Which, from a business stand-point, makes complete sense because sick time is there for the employee should the need arise. It's not supposed to be guaranteed time out of the office.

Back to TSS-- we all started out the four-week period with that same foolish optimism because as awful as TSS was, her job was still quite influential on all of ours. There were a lot of things that needed to be delegated, explained, etc. before she left. How nice of her to give us so much time with which to work.

Except... the day after she announced? She had a terrible cold so she stayed home.

And then came into the office the next day but spent the whole day talking with her good friend, Security Guard.

Only to be out with a sore throat the day after that.

And the next day? Oh, she came in, but left halfway through the day because she had a headache.

So, suffice it to say that her four weeks of notice really turned into a week and a half sprint to get all of her duties delegated after she magically came down with every possible variation of illness known to man, and even a couple of "Oh, I got a flat tire" excuses for good measure. And all during those four weeks... Overshare decided to spend her time discussing her promotion strategy with me.

Overshare: Boss Man simply HAS to give me the job.
Anonymous: Well, TSS had a lot of experience, how do you know he won't be looking for that again?
Overshare: Because I'm right here, obviously. There's no way he's giving this job to someone else.
Anonymous: Obviously.
Overshare: Hey, would you review my resume?

One day, about two weeks before TSS was to leave, Witty Comeback came into my office as soon as Overshare was leaving it, having just handed me her resume to review.

Witty Comeback, shutting my door: We have to talk.
Anonymous: What's up?
Witty Comeback: Boss Man just asked if I wanted TSS's job.
Anonymous: Oh dear. Does Overshare know?
Witty Comeback: No. It literally just happened.
Anonymous: Well, hot damn. She's going to hate you forever.