ET, Phone Asylum

One day, Overshare had some things in her car that she needed to bring into the office. So about mid-way through the work day she stopped in my office and asked if I would help her carry some of the stuff in. Eyes crossing from a very tedious assignment, I agreed.

We didn't really talk much on the way to her car, which is a blessing in a not-so-secret disguise.

Once there, though, what I encountered clearly called for a discussion.

Anonymous: Uh, Overshare?
Overshare: Yes?
Anonymous: What's that?
Overshare: What?
Anonymous: That. [Pointing.] Why do you have a car seat?
Overshare: Oh, that's the funniest thing ever!

Really? The Funniest Thing Ever? Must be one of those sarcastic talking car seats I've been hearing so much about.

At this point, I didn't really want to know the story behind why a single-ish twenty-something girl without progeny had a car seat in the back of her car. At least, I didn't until I looked a little closer and saw that something was actually buckled into the car seat.


Anonymous: Is that?
Overshare: Yes, yes it is.
Anonymous: What? Why? Why?
Overshare: CTF saw it in a thrift store and just couldn't resist.
Anonymous: He saw what in the thrift store? ET or the car seat?
Overshare: ET! Isn't he awesome?
Anonymous: Kind of freaky, actually. With his big eyes.
Overshare: I think he's precious.
Anonymous: Ok, let's just get the stuff and go back to work.
Overshare: Don't you want to hear the story?
Anonymous: Errr....
Overshare: So, while we were out of town last weekend, we just randomly went into this thrift store, and THERE HE WAS!
Anonymous: Wow.
Overshare: Yeah, I know! And apparently, CTF has always had this weird thing for ET, so he just had to buy it.
Anonymous: Weird ET Thing?
Overshare: So I bought it for him, and he insisted on carrying it around all weekend, calling it our lovechild! Isn't that so funny?
Anonymous: Hilarious.

Not to be all snarky (oh, who am I kidding?) but... seriously: If a man I was dating ever came close to implying that our child together would somehow look even remotely similar to ET, the EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, we would be breaking up faster than he could write the five dollar check to Goodwill.

Overshare: Yeah, every time we got into the car, he took forever putting ET into his seat, buckling his seatbelt... it was adorable. He even made me buy it a Happy Meal when we went through the drive thru!
Anonymous: Oh. My. God.
Overshare: I KNOW! Isn't he hilarious??
Anonymous: [Silence.]
Overshare: I thought I was going to die from laughing.
Anonymous: I know I am.
Overshare: So then we were driving by Babies-R-Us, and he told me we had to go in and buy him a car seat.

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA.

Now, there is a fine line between "Oh, this is a funny private joke" and "Okay, we've taken this joke too far." (It's also commonly referred to as the line between sanity and insanity.) I'd have to say that PURCHASING A CAR SEAT for the ET DOLL that you've been calling your lovechild is on the INSANITY side of that line.

Call me crazy.

Somehow, I just can't see justifying the purchase of a car seat for anything other than a baby. But I'm old-fashioned like that. Especially when, upon researching the topic for this post, I discovered that there is no such thing as a cheap car seat. Check it out.

Anonymous: You really bought a carseat for a plush ET Doll.
Overshare: Sure did! Like CTF says, there's nothing too good for our lovechild.