Might I Suggest Padded Walls?

After much deliberation, Witty Comeback decided that Tyrannical Sorority Sister's job was too specialized for her, and would lock her into a career path that she ultimately didn't want. So she went to Boss Man, thanked him and told him she'd prefer to stay where she was at the moment for those reasons.

To say Boss Man was disappointed, though understanding, would be an understatement.

Wouldn't you be disappointed if your two hiring options were shaping up to be Overshare and Smoking Know It All?

The worst part of Witty's decision was undeniably the fact that Overshare clearly had no idea that Witty Comeback had already been offered the position, meaning she continued to spout off at every turn about how excited Boss Man was about her application, how excited she was to start the new job, excitment ad nauseum.

And then, it happened. The comment that made Witty Comeback question her decision, even if just for a moment.

Witty and I were in my office, chatting a bit, when Overshare walked in.

Overshare: So, guys, how do you think I should decorate my office?
Witty, Anonymous: [shared, stunned silence.]

You see, in sifting through all of the pros and cons of taking the job, it never really occurred to either of us that along with TSS's job came her rather cushy window office.

The cushy window office it now appeared that Overshare would soon move into, to lord over us until kingdom come. So we sat there, silently listening to Overshare discuss how soon she could move in there, how she'd position the furniture, how Witty should "feel free" to come in there whenever she wanted, if she ever needed a break from Cubicle City. Because, clearly, enduring her gloating is supposed to be considered a pleasant "escape."