The Very Essence of Professionalism
Overshare: You will not BELIEVE what just happened.
Anonymous: What happened?
Overshare: I had an interview for Toolshed's and my new assistant this morning.
Anonymous: Oh. Right.
Overshare: Yeah. So just now, I was up in HR, talking over the candidate with HR Crony. You will not BELIEVE what she had the nerve to say to me.
I haven't mentioned HR Crony before, but there's not really all that much to say. A perfectly nice, considerate person who rather unfortunately began working in our office at almost the exact same time that Overshare did, which led to the two of them being very close friends for a good long while. Eventually though, HR Crony began to tire of the constant oversharing and slowly phased Overshare out of her inner circle of friends. At the time that all of this happened, HR Crony was in stage one of the phase out, and Overshare was highly perplexed over the development.
Anonymous: What did she say?
Overshare: We were just sitting there, chatting... I had mentioned a whole ton of good things about the candidate. Her experience is good, she's very articulate, she seems to really want to work here. So after all of that good stuff, I just mentioned that maybe, PERHAPS, the candidate was a tad wee bit formal in their approach.
Anonymous: Formal?
Overshare: Yeah. Like, stood when we entered the room and spoke in complete sentences all the time. That kind of formal.
Anonymous: So?
Overshare: I just thought it might be slightly creepy, is all.
Anonymous: Creepy how?
Overshare: Well, you know... I'm kind of a laid back person. I'm sure I'll be a laid back boss. It might be weird to have such a formal person working under me.
Anonymous: Yes, well...
Overshare: Anyway, so I'm perfectly nice about everything and just mention this one tiny thing. You know what HR Crony said?
Anonymous: What?
Overshare: She said, and I quote, "Are you sure you're not just intimidated by how professional she is?" What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Anonymous: Well...
Overshare, yelling: I'm professional! Really! I'M SO PROFESSIONAL! I'm the CONSUMMATE professional! [beat] Wait... did I use "consummate" correctly?
Somehow, yelling "I'm professional" in an office seems counter-productive to me. It's like yelling "I'm quiet! I'm damn near silent!" in a library or "Hey! Stop looking at me!" in a crowded restaurant.
Anonymous: What happened?
Overshare: I had an interview for Toolshed's and my new assistant this morning.
Anonymous: Oh. Right.
Overshare: Yeah. So just now, I was up in HR, talking over the candidate with HR Crony. You will not BELIEVE what she had the nerve to say to me.
I haven't mentioned HR Crony before, but there's not really all that much to say. A perfectly nice, considerate person who rather unfortunately began working in our office at almost the exact same time that Overshare did, which led to the two of them being very close friends for a good long while. Eventually though, HR Crony began to tire of the constant oversharing and slowly phased Overshare out of her inner circle of friends. At the time that all of this happened, HR Crony was in stage one of the phase out, and Overshare was highly perplexed over the development.
Anonymous: What did she say?
Overshare: We were just sitting there, chatting... I had mentioned a whole ton of good things about the candidate. Her experience is good, she's very articulate, she seems to really want to work here. So after all of that good stuff, I just mentioned that maybe, PERHAPS, the candidate was a tad wee bit formal in their approach.
Anonymous: Formal?
Overshare: Yeah. Like, stood when we entered the room and spoke in complete sentences all the time. That kind of formal.
Anonymous: So?
Overshare: I just thought it might be slightly creepy, is all.
Anonymous: Creepy how?
Overshare: Well, you know... I'm kind of a laid back person. I'm sure I'll be a laid back boss. It might be weird to have such a formal person working under me.
Anonymous: Yes, well...
Overshare: Anyway, so I'm perfectly nice about everything and just mention this one tiny thing. You know what HR Crony said?
Anonymous: What?
Overshare: She said, and I quote, "Are you sure you're not just intimidated by how professional she is?" What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Anonymous: Well...
Overshare, yelling: I'm professional! Really! I'M SO PROFESSIONAL! I'm the CONSUMMATE professional! [beat] Wait... did I use "consummate" correctly?
Somehow, yelling "I'm professional" in an office seems counter-productive to me. It's like yelling "I'm quiet! I'm damn near silent!" in a library or "Hey! Stop looking at me!" in a crowded restaurant.
posted by Anonymous Coworker @ 12:05 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Something tells me that she is more accustomed to the word "consummate" in a different context, as in, "E.T. was the result of Overshare's consummation of her convict love."
oh, yes, she exudes professionalism...i hope, for the itnerviewee's sake, the informality was too much..
I love that she was bothered by an interviewee that spoke in complete sentences.
beautiful, just beautiful.
If you have to exclaim just how great you are, then you probably aren't all that great. Like a girl at an old job of mine who felt the need to state "I'm an intelligent person, you know".
God's just not listening to prayers for this girl anymore, is he?
Post a Comment
<< Home