Another Case of the Hee Hee Hees

First thing one random morning, Overshare stood in my doorway. I was turning on my computer and just doing that general morning preparedness routine that for some reason ALWAYS includes me having to untangle my phone cord after the fairies who apparently raid my office during the night put it into knots again.

Overshare: Hee hee hee.
Anonymous: Good morning, Overshare.
Overshare: Hee hee hee.
Anonymous: You seem entertained.
Overshare: Hee hee hee.
Anonymous: Anything you want to share?
Overshare: Want some of my lunch??

Yes, that's an odd question to ask first thing in the morning. You aren't mistaken. I thought so too, until I looked up and saw that she was brandishing a lunch box, clearly meaning to show me the lunch box and figuring the only way to do that was to offer me some food from it.

And when I say lunch box, I mean it. Not a brown paper bag. Not one of those insulated reusable earth-friendly thingy-ma-whatsa-whosits. Nope. A LUNCH BOX. And no, Overshare is not six years old. Or ten, even. Hell, she's not even that super annoying fake-quirky cheerleader you remember from high school who created random phobias for herself and carried around hair clips and makeup in a Betty Boop lunch box so that people would think she was "endearing."

She's just a twenty-something "Professional." So why she feels the need to carry this


around with her for two full weeks, I'll never know. But she did.

Overshare: Isn't it Flippin' Sweet?
Anonymous: It's a lunch box.
Overshare: EXACTLY!
Anonymous: Wow.
Overshare: Oh, whatever. You know you want a lunch box as cool as mine.

I tried to find a lunch box I would even CONSIDER carrying around, should someone decide to bet me $100 to do it. Only one was even a contender: a Kurt Cobain Memorial Lunch Box, because it seems to be the height of irony to me. Personally, I'm just dying to buy this one for Oh My God I Loved It:

Because, not ONLY is it a lunch box... oh, no. It's a PAINT BY NUMBER lunch box.

And since it's simply TOO RIDICULOUS to ignore, check out the description of the Last Supper Lunch Box, straight from the website: "The original Last Supper is unquestionably one of the greatest paintings of all time, but who hasn't looked at it and said, "Eh, I could do better than that." That's where the Paint-by-Numbers Last Supper Longbox comes in. This 11.25" wide, 5" tall, and 2.25" deep metal longbox gives you the power and glory of Jesus' last meal mixed with the blurry kitsch of homemade art. With metal fixtures and a black plastic handle. A bit too narrow for carrying a full-size lunch; but great for carrying communion breadsticks."

Because I know when I look at a painting by LEONARDO FREAKING DA VINCI, I think "Eh, I could do better." I mean, really? Vitruvian Man? A ten-year-old can do that with an Etch-a-Sketch. And don't even get me started on that hack Michelangelo. The Sistine Chapel? It's only a FREAKING CEILING, PEOPLE! He didn't even have to tape off any windows!

And "Communion Breadsticks?" Need I even ask?