Company Birthday Party
This is an honest-to-God Overshare moment that happened five minutes ago. To tell the story accurately, I must introduce a new character, one that I'm frankly surprised I haven't had the opportunity to talk about before: Oh-My-God-I-Loved-It. Shortened to OMG for my sanity's sake.
She's named that because her favorite conversations go like this:
Oh-My-God-I-Loved-It: Anonymous, did you see Million Dollar Baby?
Anonymous: I did.
OMG: Didn't you love it? Oh my God, I loved it!
Or like this:
OMG: Anonymous, have you ever eaten at [insert fancy restaurant name]?
Anonymous: I have... I really liked--
OMG:Didn't you love it? Oh my God, I loved it!
Now, my friends will be the first to tell you that OMG has been my nemesis at work for several years. For several reasons, really.
1. Why does she answer the question that she's asking you, before you have a chance to answer it? That's just irritating.
2. She's got this whole California Valley Girl thing going on that I just can't handle.
3. She has the tendency to repeat back to you what you just said, but like it is her own thought.
4. The infamous let's-offend-every-religion-we-can-in-five-minutes conversation.
Anyway, OMG plays an important role in today's story. Maybe someday I'll post the conversation in #4, just so you can enjoy that too. On to the Overshare:
We're at a birthday party for several coworkers. In the room are several of the higher-level execs-- including, but not limited to, our President, our head of Human Resources, several VPs and department heads.
Overshare: OMG, you have something on your shirt... here. [Picks off a piece of non-existent lint from OMG's chest.]
OMG, half-kidding: Umm... Overshare? I know you're obsessed with my chest but that's taking it a little too far.
Overshare: I'm not obsessed with your chest, OMG.
OMG: Then why do you stare at it all the time?
Overshare: I don't stare at your chest!
OMG: Um.... ok.
Overshare, yelling now: That was one time! And we were talking about boobs already because I kept turning the lights off in your office accidentally with MY boobs!
Complete silence falls on the room. The President stops, with his forkful of cake halfway to his mouth.
Overshare: It was an accident.
More silence.
Head of Human Resources: Well, you don't hear that one every day.
Labels: party talk
posted by Anonymous Coworker @ 1:35 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
This is my first time on your blog and I love it! I've read the entire thing. I have a coworker that we call WC for the french slang for toilet and the area of the city she lives in. She is not so much of an Oversharer like yours, but she has no sense boundaries when it comes to bodily functions. She has shown me dead skin she picked of her heels, bloody tissues, and has farted while it was just the 2 of us in a conference room. We really need to round these people up and shut them in a padded room together.
Oh, e-liz.... that story made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Bloody tissues???
EWWWWWWWW.
Well, I'm glad for a new story to read, but really? Wow.
Thank God for Human Resource Director bringing that awkward conversation to closure.
I wonder if you realize how many people read your blog and love it.
Que Dios la ayude lo mas pronto posible. Pobre muchacha.
Well...Despite needing to stand up for fellow Cali Valley girls, I STILL think that OMG needs a brisk slap in the face ;)
your blog is hilarious...but please, more frequest updates!...
Please...do tell the story related to #4.
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