Those Sneaky Swedes

Overshare: CTF has a new girlfriend.
Anonymous: No.
Overshare: Yes.
Anonymous: Are you sure? I thought he needed to get "his stuff together?"
Overshare: I’m just kidding. He does have a stalker though.
Anonymous, baffled: A stalker?
Overshare: Yeah, it’s hysterical. She’s a Swedish nanny.
Anonymous: Did you actually meet her, or did CTF just tell you about her?
Overshare: Oh, I met her. Well, not really. But she was at Skank Bar while I was there. I was sitting outside with CTF and this ugly girl in the corner kept giving me dirty looks. I asked CTF who she was and he said that she comes in every night and sits in that corner and stares at him all night. And she’ll send drinks over to him. She’s so ugly, Anonymous. UGLY. Like she-ain’t-got-no-alibi ugly.
Anonymous: So, does CTF ever talk to her?
Overshare: Hell no! He’s scared of her actually. She just sits there and stares at him. They’ve never even talked, he said.
Anonymous: Then how did he know she’s a Swedish nanny?
Overshare: Hmm. How did he know?
Anonymous, half-under her breath: Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he lied.
Overshare: What are you talking about? When has CTF ever lied to me?

Let's see... how about here? Or here? And I have a sneaking suspicion that he lied here, too.

Overshare: Whatever... I'm sure he was just being polite the first time he met her or something.

Can I just interject that she has now started lying to herself for CTF, before CTF even has to? Half of the fun is seeing what lie he'd come up with, isn't it? I mean, I'm just waiting for him to say something like, "Oh, well we never talked, so that's true. She sent me a note via carrier pigeon."

Overshare: Anyway... I'm sure he'd never go for someone that ugly. And if he did, I'm sure it's because she's Swedish. His parents are Swedish, too.