Confrontations

I’m often asked why someone doesn’t say something to Overshare about her oversharing. To say my boss takes a laissez-faire attitude to these things would be an understatement. I’d even go so far as to say he realizes what kind of work environment this creates, but would rather avoid any kind of awkward confrontation, the kind that would be required to fix the situation.

But that’s not to say that she hasn’t been confronted before.

Enter Candid Temp.

Candid Temp was brought in when Witty Comeback was promoted, to cover her old position while we began the hiring process. Witty was moved into a new part of the office, and Candid Temp was given her old space in a cubicle directly connected to Overshare’s.

Candid Temp had a rather typical story for a temp—he had his Master’s Degree in conflict resolution, and was putting his resume out, but had recently moved to the area and needed a job to cover the rent until he got a more permanent gig in his field of study. Candid Temp, being a man, quickly became Overshare’s new favorite person to overshare to. He got the Quick and Dirty Update—two days into his assignment and he could tell Overshare stories with the best of us.

It just so happens (prepare yourselves for a shock here…) that at the time that Candid Temp was working for us, Overshare and CTF were going through a rough patch. There were a lot of phone calls going back and forth between them, and more than once a call ended in a shouting match, a phone slamming down, and tears and sobbing from Overshare.

It also happens that Overshare was going through a rough time with her family, because they had all talked with Overshare about CTF and how it might not be such a good idea to date a pedophile bouncer. She was fighting with them about that. (Exactly how one justifies to their mother the very idea of dating such a man, I have no idea.)

One day, I had a project for Candid Temp so I went over to his cubicle to discuss it. Overshare was in the middle of a phone conversation with CTF, and it was escalating.

Overshare: CTF! I don’t care WHAT you do this weekend. I don’t care.
CTF says something.
Overshare: I said I’d don’t care! F*** her if you want to!!
CTF says something.
Overshare: I said F*** her if you want to!!

At this point, I look over to Candid Temp, who rolls his eyes at me. I’m expecting him to handle this as we all do in the office. But oh no, my friends. Candid Temp, being a temp and therefore not having to care about preserving office relationships, doesn’t avert his eyes, doesn’t quietly pretend as if nothing is going on. No. He is much too candid for that.

Candid Temp, pumping his fist for emphasis: Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

Yes, my blog friends. Candid Temp finally said to Overshare what everyone who works with her thinks. She would be a perfect guest on The Jerry Springer Show.

Overshare: [silence]
Candid Temp, in a pretty good Jerry Springer impression: And on today’s show, we have men who love young girls and the women who love them anyway… should be a fascinating show.
Overshare, to CTF on the phone: What? Oh, it’s nothing. It’s another conversation happening in the office. I have to go. [Hangs up]
Overshare, to Candid Temp: What the HELL is that supposed to mean?
Candid Temp: I would think it was obvious.
Overshare, angry: Why don’t you explain it anyway?
Candid Temp: I was just giving you what I thought you wanted: an audience.