Sibling Rivalry

Overshare: How was your weekend?

I'd just like to point out to everyone, in case you haven't noticed, that Overshare is very rarely actually interested in how my weekend went. Asking about my weekend is only her way of getting me to ask about her weekend. And if I ask, she can't very well refuse to tell me, can she? Tricky, very tricky. I don't want to know these things. I'm perfectly content with never knowing any details of her weekend adventures (though this blog would be rather boring indeed) but office environments being what they are these conversations are unavoidable.

Anonymous: Fine. You?
Overshare: CTF and I went to the beach.
Anonymous: Fascinating.
Overshare: Well, you see, my sister and her husband wanted me to come up to the beach house while they were there, to spend some time with them.
Anonymous: That's nice.
Overshare: They asked me not to bring CTF.
Anonymous: So why did you?
Overshare: Because! Like I really want to feel like the third wheel to my sister. She'd just lord it over me that she was having sex that weekend and I wasn't. She'd be really loud at night, just to rub it in.

Maybe this is just me, and maybe my siblings are all a bunch of prudes, but I can safely say that I've only had one or two conversations about sex with my siblings and even then it was in very nebulous terms. They are almost all married, and I have no need, whatsoever, to know any details of their sex life. Call me crazy.

Anonymous: Hmm.
Overshare: No way in hell I'm letting that happen, right? [chuckles]
Anonymous: [smiles wanly, starts to type up a fake email in order to look busy]
Overshare, sitting down: So I mentioned to CTF that that is what she would do, so he said as a joke, "Well, you should take me anyway and we can just make sure we're louder than them all weekend."
Anonymous: [silent, praying this will be over soon]
Overshare: So that's what we did. Every time we heard her and her husband starting up, we'd go at it. Yelling, screaming, anything we could think of.
Anonymous: Er...
Overshare: It actually turned out to be a great way to spice up our sex life! I highly recommend it.
Anonymous: Er...
Overshare: My sister actually said to me before we drove away that I should never let a man who makes me scream like that go. I'm so glad she approves! Maybe she could convince my mom...