Help!

Oh dear internet friends, I have a problem. I have a Barnacle.

Definition of a Barnacle, you ask? A Barnacle is someone who attaches onto you when you stop being vigilant. Next thing you know, you take a look and find out that this creature has latched onto your side and refuses to let go without a fair amount of force.

My Barnacle has a first name, it's O-v-e-r-s-h-a-r-e.

Somewhere along the line, I stopped being careful. And now, Overshare thinks we're BFF For Life.

It started out, as these things do, when I let an obsession for a certain American Idol creep up unchecked. You see, I love Elliott Yamin. I'm a Yaminion. I admit it.

And I know what you're thinking... but, Anonymous, isn't Overshare stalking Taylor Hicks? How does her obsession and your obsession coincide? Elliott and Taylor... there's no real middle ground here.

Well, one day, Overshare came into my office and informed me that she had changed her mind, that she was now a full-blown Yaminion too. That should have been my first red flag, my first warning that a barnacle was about to attach. But I wasn't paying attention, just happy to have another person aboard the E-Train.

Soon, every Tuesday we'd discuss the show... and Wednesday we'd discuss the results. Harmless, really. And then one Thursday... we started talking about what Elliott should sing... and then Friday... and Monday....

And then, it happened. The fatal mistake.

I had a work function one Tuesday night, and I was going to miss the performances, but was going to be out in time to vote. I lamented this to Overshare, wondering how I would find out what number E had been... when she offered to text message me the info. In the haze of my fixation, I gave her my cell phone number. Hell, I even thanked her profusely.

Now, she calls. Every night. When Elliott was voted off this week, she called before the show was over to cry with me. She texts all the time.

I must admit, after the pain of losing Elliott in the competition faded... a small part of my soul was looking forward to having this tie to Overshare cut. Little did I know she had turned into a full-fledged Barnacle.

I had an Unfortunate Incident this past weekend, of which I'll spare you the details, suffice it to say that there was a small amount of bodily harm inflicted on me by strangers. When Overshare found out, she called someone.... that person not being me.... care to guess?

CTF. He's offered me his protection. He wants to buy me mace.

And it's not just that. She calls every day. She offers to eat lunch together every day. She pleads with me to go to happy hours. She switches place cards at work dinners so we sit next to each other.

Fan-frickin-tastic. What have I done, dear readers??

More importantly, what shall I do?