The Bathroom

I know that a lot of you saw the title and said "Oh, uh-uh."

You're not sure you want to read this, are you? Well, at least you have the choice.

I'm sure it happens to everyone eventually-- the awkward same-time arrival at the door of the office bathroom. In our office, the bathroom is in such a place that you can't pretend you were going elsewhere; it's all by its lonesome down a long hallway. If you meet someone at the door, you both know why you're there.

Yesterday, I met Overshare there. I seriously contemplated saying something along the lines of, "You know what? The urge is gone. Just gone! Funny how that happens... see you later."

But I had just finished my third water bottle of the day. There was no choice. Oh dear.

So we have the obligatory, awkward, "After you; No, after you" moment, which finally ended up with me following her in. Like a lamb to the slaughter, folks.

Overshare, from inside her stall: Anonymous?
Anonymous, whispering to herself: This can't be happening.
Anonymous, to Overshare: Uhh... yes?
Overshare: Ummmm... can I ask you a personal question?
Anonymous: Now?
Overshare: Yeah.
Anonymous: [Silence.]
Overshare: Does...uh....well...

Now see, I've noticed something about ol' Overshare. She, in general, has next to no shame. And no mental filter. No shame + no mental filter = No hesitation. So when Overshare does hesitate to say something? It's never good. Whatever she's about to say, she knows it might be crossing the line, which means it's actually about five miles past the line. Fantastic.

Anonymous, to herself: Oh dear God.
Overshare: The day after you have sex, does the consistency of your poop change?
Anonymous: [Silence.]
Overshare: [Silence.]
Anonymous: [Flush.]
Overshare: [Silence. Flush.]
Anonymous: [Washes hands in silence.]
Overshare: [Washes hands. Looks over at me.]
Anonymous: [Dries hands in silence.]
Overshare: Uh.....
Anonymous: [Shakes head.]
Overshare, sheepishly: Sorry?

She sure likes to talk consistency, doesn't she?