That's Exactly The Point

Overshare: Do you have any idea why they’re interviewing people for the Separate Department position?
Anonymous: Because they want to hire someone?
Overshare: But I already turned in my résumé.
Anonymous: Right… well…

So, how awkward is this conversation?

Possible replies include:
Well, obviously they don’t want to hire you.
Well, obviously they’re still looking.
Well, obviously Ultimate Class would rather die than have to supervise you.
And my personal fave…
Huh. Who would have guessed?

Brace yourselves for a shock here, but I actually didn’t need to give much of a response. Because, after all, we’ve already established that it’s not really about wanting to know my opinion as much as it’s about wanting to state hers. Therefore, “Right… well…” was all she needed from me.

Overshare: They can’t possibly find someone more qualified for the position.

For just one day, I would like to know what it is like to live my life with such unabashed confidence. But if it ever means getting involved with someone like CTF, I think I’ll just say “I pass” and then wonder if my butt looks big in these pants all day. Because some things just aren’t worth it.

Anonymous: Well, I did hear that Ultimate Class was looking for someone with a lot of experience.
Overshare: But she knows me.
Anonymous: Right. But you don’t have any experience, and it’s a mid-level position.
Overshare: But she knows me.
Anonymous: Right.
Overshare: Why would they hire someone they don’t know?

Oh, where to begin with this question? First, the obvious: isn’t that what the entire hiring process is about? Does she think companies all across America only hire people directly within their acquaintance circle? It’s not like all 61,000 employees of Microsoft are Bill Gates’ direct personal friends.

Second: The very fact that Ultimate Class does know Overshare is more than likely 80% of the reason that she doesn’t hire her. She knows exactly what she’s like, and would rather poke out her own eye with a spoon than share a tiny office space with her.

Anonymous, completely b-sing: Well, maybe they just have to interview other people, for legal reasons.
Overshare: That must be it.