Yes, But When Do I Get To Meet Pat Sajak?

Tyrannical Sorority Sister: Guess what?

Sometimes, I feel like my office doubles as a game show set. Oh, but what would we name it? Who Wants to Buy TSS’s Crappy Stuff? The 64,000 Money Requests? $100,000 Pyramid Scheme?

And when it’s not doubling as a game show, my office is most definitely a daytime soap opera. That broadcasts on Telemundo. And, even though you don’t understand the language, you at least understand that all of their lives are drama, drama, and more drama all-the-live-long-day and will eventually end with twins (one naïve, one evil) battling over a felon who has memory loss and is a habitual liar. And somewhere in there, someone will discover he's really adopted and his biological mother is actually the "December" of his current May/December romance.

"Luckily," today is a game-show day.

Tyrannical: Guess what?
Anonymous, bored already: What?
Tyrannical: My sorority is trying to raise money.
Anonymous: Sounds familiar.
Tyrannical: Well, we're a really great organization and now we're raising money to help fund our annual party.
Anonymous: How charitable.
Tyrannical: So we're selling Entertainment Books.

Let's see here...
Candles: $10-$15.
Raffle Tickets: $1, or 6 for $5.
Entertainment Books: Damn Expensive.

Oh, hell no. I am not buying one of these suckers.

Anonymous: Not today, thanks.
Tyrannical: But it helps you save all kinds of money!
Anonymous: Only if I lug that book around with me every where I go.
Tyrannical: It pays for itself in just five uses, most of the time!
Anonymous: I tend to forget I bought one after I use it twice.

She then begins to launch into the spiel-- exclusive online discounts! Help a good cause! $1,000s of savings! A coupon for everything!-- and I sit politely. Waiting.

Tyrannical: So, want to buy one?
Anonymous: No, thanks.
Tyrannical: I can't believe I wasted that speech on you.

Witty Comeback, you're the next contestant on The Price is Too Damn Much!