Perhaps She Should See An Analrapist...

Any Arrested Development fans in the house?

Lord, I hope so.

A while ago, our company reorganized our offices and eventually it was decided that my desk would be very close to the desk of Oh My God I Loved It. So close that I'm not frequently subjected to overhearing her conversations. Now, while I had become very, very well-versed in her opinion of certain religions... I had no idea that she was actually Tobias Funke, in disguise. She has a habit of getting certain words of popular sayings completely wrong.



Most of Oh My God I Loved It's unfortunate word choices happen when she's speaking to her boss, which let me tell you, makes not laughing out loud that much harder. A small sampling of the hilarity, with her intended meaning in brackets:

OMGILI: Boss, sometimes I just can't wrap my hands around you! [I can't wrap my mind around your idea.]

OMGILI, fanning herself in embarrassment: Boss, you're making me so hot! [You're making me blush.]

OMGILI: It's one of those International Bachelorette programs. [I'm not entirely sure, but here's hoping she meant "International Baccalaureate."]

OMGILI, to coworker: Well, Boss Man owes you a big fat one, doesn't he? [Your boss owes you a favor for doing that project.]

I swear though, if she starts showing up in cut-off jean shorts, I'm so out of here.

Uh.... Thanks?

So, just to remind you... I work in an office of crazy people. Granted, their level of craziness doesn't come anywhere close to challenging Overshare for the championship, but I have some random ass conversations with other coworkers as well.

Case in Point:

Oh-My-God-I-Loved-It: Oh my God. I love your sweater.
Anonymous Coworker: Thanks.
OMGILI: It's such a pretty color.
Anonymous Coworker: Thanks-- my mom bought it for me.
OMGILI: Is that a tank top underneath?
Anonymous Coworker: Yeah, it's got snowflakes on it...
OMGILI: You know.... you really could have gone without it; we all love your cleave.
Anonymous Coworker: ...................