All Day Oddity: Part Deux

I'm in my office, minding my own business when I hear the soft strands of a melody coming out of a computer's speakers...

I got my first real six-string...bought it at the five and dime...
Played it till my fingers bled... IT WAS THE SUMMER OF '69!!!!!!

"Ok," I remember thinking to myself, "That's kind of random." Little did I know what I was in for. This, my friends, was the start of my next All Day Oddity. This was the fateful day that I would endure All Day Oddity: Bryan Adams' Day. I shit you not.

About ten minutes after Summer of '69, a sweet refrain came from the other end of my office, blasted full volume from a different computer...

I'm gonna run to you
I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelings right
I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you


Overshare and Wyoming apparently heard Summer of '69 in their car on their way to work. Overshare commented on how much she hated Bryan Adams in general; Wyoming was offended and apparently argued his merits the entire way into the office. In order to prove to Overshare just how wrong she was to dislike him, she decided to "educate" Overshare by playing Summer of '69 again in her office, loud enough for Overshare to hear. Overshare took offense and decided (in what can only be termed an act of SHEER BRILLIANCE) to get her "revenge" by.... playing Bryan Adams back to her? What?? (And not to mention the, oh, TEN PEOPLE who sit between their two offices.) It went on all day, ping-ponging back and forth between their two offices at various volumes.

I found myself going into a Zen-like trance. And I believe that my soul communicated with Bryan Adams that day on a new plane of existence. I'll recount the conversation here. (Bryan's part of the conversation appears in Italics.)

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven


You're finding it hard to believe that we're in heaven? Really, Bryan?? I wonder if that's because they CLEARLY only have BRYAN ADAMS' DAY in Hell.

One night love affair
Tryin' to make like we don't care
We were both reachin' out for somethin'
One night love affair
Pretendin' it ain't there



Bryan, I never wanted a one night anything. So I agree, I've been pretending that you aren't there. But if you insist on calling this atrocity a love affair: PLEASE let this be a one night love affair. Because two days will make me puncture my own ear drums with a pencil.

Can't stop this thing we started
You gotta know it's right
Can't stop this course we've plotted
This thing called love we got it
No place for the brokenhearted


I'm really going to have to insist that you TRY here, Bryan. TRY to stop this thing YOU started. Don't go dragging me down into your mess. This is not my fault.

You gotta ride your broom right into my room
Kick off your shoes, make yourself at home
Wave your little wand - weave a little spell
Make a little magic - raise some hell
There will never be another tonight

I know that you did NOT just call me a WITCH, Bryan Guy Adams. (Yes, I researched your middle name, even if you apparently don't use it! I'm THAT serious about this!) On top of all THIS CRAZINESS, I KNOW THAT YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A WITCH! I'm a girl on the EDGE here, BRYAN!

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Hmph. Fine. I forgive you. But just this once, because damn, that's quite the apology.

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - yeah, I'd die for you
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Hey there, pal. Don't push your luck. That's the cheesiest song ever written and I know you sing it to everyone, even your Grandma's Bridge team.

The Very Essence of Professionalism

Overshare: You will not BELIEVE what just happened.
Anonymous: What happened?
Overshare: I had an interview for Toolshed's and my new assistant this morning.
Anonymous: Oh. Right.
Overshare: Yeah. So just now, I was up in HR, talking over the candidate with HR Crony. You will not BELIEVE what she had the nerve to say to me.

I haven't mentioned HR Crony before, but there's not really all that much to say. A perfectly nice, considerate person who rather unfortunately began working in our office at almost the exact same time that Overshare did, which led to the two of them being very close friends for a good long while. Eventually though, HR Crony began to tire of the constant oversharing and slowly phased Overshare out of her inner circle of friends. At the time that all of this happened, HR Crony was in stage one of the phase out, and Overshare was highly perplexed over the development.

Anonymous: What did she say?
Overshare: We were just sitting there, chatting... I had mentioned a whole ton of good things about the candidate. Her experience is good, she's very articulate, she seems to really want to work here. So after all of that good stuff, I just mentioned that maybe, PERHAPS, the candidate was a tad wee bit formal in their approach.
Anonymous: Formal?
Overshare: Yeah. Like, stood when we entered the room and spoke in complete sentences all the time. That kind of formal.
Anonymous: So?
Overshare: I just thought it might be slightly creepy, is all.
Anonymous: Creepy how?
Overshare: Well, you know... I'm kind of a laid back person. I'm sure I'll be a laid back boss. It might be weird to have such a formal person working under me.
Anonymous: Yes, well...
Overshare: Anyway, so I'm perfectly nice about everything and just mention this one tiny thing. You know what HR Crony said?
Anonymous: What?
Overshare: She said, and I quote, "Are you sure you're not just intimidated by how professional she is?" What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Anonymous: Well...
Overshare, yelling: I'm professional! Really! I'M SO PROFESSIONAL! I'm the CONSUMMATE professional! [beat] Wait... did I use "consummate" correctly?

Somehow, yelling "I'm professional" in an office seems counter-productive to me. It's like yelling "I'm quiet! I'm damn near silent!" in a library or "Hey! Stop looking at me!" in a crowded restaurant.