WikiGoogle

It's been a while since I've posted about the Google Antics that bring people by this blog. This is my ultimate favorite thing to monitor about the blog, really... because DAMN, people use search engines for some funny stuff.

For example:

What does a handbag say about a lady?
Why, we all know handbags are dirty rotten lying scoundrels who, when given a chance, reveal all of a lady's deepest darkest secrets. As if you needed to ask Google that.

Funnies of the horrible coworkers
Something about this (the syntax? The word "funnies?" The fact that they used the article "the"?) makes me giggle. It seems like a phrase that my grandmother would have used in a search engine.

Fake cell phone stalker
Wait a second: is the cell phone fake? The stalker? Color me confused.

I overheard you guys are looking for a nanny.
Because I know that when I look for a nanny, the first thing that on my list of requirements is "Eavesdropper." Right up there with "Dates a felon."

Should I take a sick day?
I love that someone out there treats Google like a Magic 8 Ball.

Google Me This

Some of the latest Googles to bring people to this blog have been simply too funny not to share. I hope you laugh as much as I did when I saw them!

How to tell a REAL Couch purse from a fake one
Hint #1: If it says COUCH on the label, it's fake.

Super-Secret Spy Flask
To go with his (or her) Super-Secret X-Ray Goggles, of course. Who knew James Bond used Google?

My BJ Technique
From a college student, no less. Oh, dear. For a split second, I was sure I had been "discovered."

10 Reasons Sleeping with Your Boss is a Bad Idea
Ok... was someone looking for a Letterman sketch or something? Or are they really looking for a list to convince them this is a Bad Idea? Because, really?? You need some other reason (or nine) beyond "HE'S YOUR BOSS!!!!"??

How to Remove Clothes
Step one: unbutton top button. Step two: unbutton second button.

Cole & Dylan Sprouse: Last Sighting
Wow. Just wow.

Secret Buckle Flask
And this came from a public school district. Student or teacher, do you think?

HORRIBLE COWORKER IN A SMALL OFFICE
First of all, I LOVE that this is in all caps. Like she just. can't. take it. anymore. NOT. ONE. SECOND. Secondly: welcome, friend. Find respite here.

I'll have the update on the Overshare/TSS job next week!

Google Fun

I'll get back to an original Overshare story next week, guys. Until then, to tide you over, may I present the latest Google search terms to lead to Overshare:

Cardio Strip Down tour

A whole tour? Really? I wonder if Overshare knows about that!

Witty Comeback about Happy Hour

Don’t we all wish for one of those? I just love the idea that someone out there googled this. Seriously. If it’s you, send me an email. We need to be friends.

Nanny Sex

Dear Jude Law,

Way to be discreet.

Sincerely,

Anonymous Coworker

When You Love A Coworker

Awww. How sweet. Sort of odd that someone out there is searching for some sort of “how-to” about this, but who am I to judge?

I want to book Cole and Dylan Sprouse for a birthday party?

I love, love, LOVE that this person included a question mark. Google, is this you? Yes, I’d like to book George Clooney for a bachelorette party? Please?

My crazy threesome adventure

Not just ANY crazy threesome adventure, oh no. MY crazy threesome adventure. Maybe they should have included an exclamation point.

Amazing shagging

Looks like that Coworker Love Affair Guide worked.

And my current favorite: coworkers alcohol bad

Why, yes, yes it is. Thank you for noticing.

Swedish Nanny: 1, Overshare: 0

Because I find this endlessly entertaining, here are some of the latest Google searches to lead to this blog:

"Obsessed with my chest"
"Barefoot at my desk" (to whoever googled this: Please, don't. Thanks.)
"Evil Sorority"
"Twisted kind of pleasure" (ummm… ew?)
"Coworker does nothing"
"When I wear skirts" (I feel like this is the start of some crazy Madlib.)

And then there’s the completely unexplainable “wooden clogs blog -holland -dutch -tree –geta”. Huh?

And not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES have people googled “Large feet for a woman” and gotten here. Who knew that was so popular?

On to today's story.

Overshare: You will not BELIEVE what has happened now.
Anonymous: No, I probably won’t.
Overshare: Wanna guess?
Anonymous: Not really, no.
Overshare: Fine. You probably wouldn’t get it anyway.

Wait one second. Did she just insult my intelligence?

Anonymous: Hmph.
Overshare: CTF invited Swedish Nanny to move in with him!
Anonymous: [laughs, slightly hysterically.]
Overshare: It’s not funny.
Anonymous: Kind of, it is.
Overshare: No, it’s not! What am I going to do now?
Anonymous: Do?
Overshare: What am I going to DO?!?
Anonymous: What do you mean?
Overshare: Clearly, I have to do something. Or else she's going to win.

I wouldn't call it winning, Bob.

Anonymous: There’s not much you can do, is there? It’s CTF’s decision.
Overshare: I’m just going to have to up the sex, I guess. You know, really take it to the next level.
Anonymous: Err…
Overshare: He won’t know what hit him! Literally!

Mine eyes. They hurt.